Job Search - Infinitum

The search for a viable job continues.

My definition of "viable":

• A salary of $35,000/yr or more, so that I could support myself independently if I needed to.
• A solid retirement plan.
• An administrative type job that utilizes the skills I have acquired and lets me use my brain.

Doesn't sound like I'm being unreasonable, does it? And yet, I've been job searching since September '05. There are lots of jobs out there, but the majority pay $12.00/hr or less or else they never even call me for an interview.

These are my opinions on why I think I'm not being called for an interview:

• Age discrimination. I never had trouble getting interviews when I was younger.
• My work experience indicates that I will be more expensive that your starting-level administrator.
• My work qualifications hint that my return to administration is temporary, and I would only be taking an administration job temporarily while I hunt for a "better" job.
• Could Lori be giving me a bad reference? Even though she promised me a glowing review, she was clearly bitter about my choice to leave Iles, even going so far as to say I wasn't a team player --- an accusation that she knows as well as I was completely unfounded. Should I remove her from my referral listing?

My biggest struggle in the job search has been to keep a positive attitude. I can't allow my sluggish progress to effect my feeling of self-worth. So, lately I've been resorting to the not-so-funny joke of saying that I know the job market hasn't forgotten about me because I'm still getting rejections on a daily basis. Sometimes multiple rejections from the same employer. So, while they still acknowledge my existence, there is always hope. Right?

Marshall has stayed optimistic, bless his heart. He keeps reminding me that finding a job IS a job. And a hard one at that. But, even he admitted that my unemployment has made it tough; his savings account has been drained. This surprising to me....I always thought that he made such a great salary that my contribution was inconsequential. Before, my drive for employment was purely from my own sense of independence. But now it is also in response to the knowledge that I'm a significant financial liability for him.

To complicate things even further, Micah just informed me that his step-mother just lost her job. This is serious stuff, as she is the sole provider for that family. Not that my child support would be enough to support the family, but in their situation, any little bit helps. Micah said that if things don't change for them soon, he might have to return home. Which brings up a whole new jumble of quandries for me:

1. I would LOVE for my Micah to return home
2. But, I doubt very much that things would be any smoother between Micah and Marshall than before
3. I could NOT stand to go through all the tension and anger between the two of them again
4. When Marshall is angry at Micah, he takes it out on me, putting me in the intolerable situation of choosing between my husband and my son
5. Micah is 17, which means he would need a vehicle for dating and for getting to a job -- we don't have a spare vehicle. And what if something happened to one of them????